The Bellatrix Diaries
by AbiBird
Summary: This is a story about how Bellatrix meets Tom Riddle and it explains her devotion toward sLord Voldermort and why, in the end, she is so conifdent and such a skilled witch. It is a love story like no other
1. I'm Tom, Tom Riddle

"And I want 3 inches of parchment on Animagus by next lesson" says Professor McGonagall. Like I am doing that i think to myself, i don't want to be an Animagus so why should I learn about them? I grabbed my bag and started through the busy hall.

Bitch, whore, squib, annoying, mudblood, I think to myself as all these people pass me. Whatever did I do to end up with such a stupid and horrible year? None of them even notice my existence and if they did I am sure they would be too shallow to talk to me, because no one loves Bellatrix do they? No. It is all about Narcissa. Narcissa is on the quidditch team, Narcissa has a lovely boyfriend, Narcissa is doing well at school, and Narcissa could be Minister of Magic. Narcissa this Narcissa that and I am sick of it. No one ever thinks of me, no one ever thinks to see how Bellatrix is, because Bellatrix is just Narcissa's weird sister. That is all i am known for, that's all anyone knows me as.

My sister is 4 years younger than me and she still gets all the attention. I hate it, I mean I am quite good at some stuff and I am not the worst witch out there but people don't recognise me. Narcissa isn't even that great at stuff she just shows off a lot and makes people think she is amazing at everything. I mean she is a first year and tried out for the quidditch team. Yes, she didn't get it because first years don't play but just trying out made her famous. I just want someone to notice me, I want someone to say "Well,, done Bellatrix" is that too much to ask

I make my way to the great hall and someone bumps in to me making me drop all my books and ink everywhere.

"I am so sorry" The boy says

"yeah you should-" i start but as i look up i realise i can't finish that sentence. He is the most breath-takingly handsome boy i had ever laid eyes on. His hair is kind of messed up in gorgeous brown curls, he is tall and thin and has the brightest eyes

"oh don't... don't worry about it... I should have been... been looking where i was going" i manage to stutter out. C'mon Bellatrix pull yourself together. I grab my books shove them in my ink stained bag and flatten out my clothes.

"Hey I'm Bellatrix Black" i say smiling

"Hi, I'm Tom, Tom Riddle. I am awfully sorry about your bag" He replies looking at my bag which is now blue due to the amount of ink that has spilled

Oh he has the softest voice like something you would fall asleep to and a crooked smile which shows all his magnificently white teeth.

"Are you going to eat? Maybe we could eat together" He asks.

"Yes i am actually, that would be great to sit with you" i beam back at him.

The truth is no, I wasn't going to eat dinner; well i was just not in the Great Hall. I don't eat with everyone else, i don't like it. I go down, pick up whatever food i fancy and take it up to my dorm. No one notices I have even purposely passed teachers to see if they ask me what I am doing or where i am going, but no, no one notices me.

"Great, lets go" He said in his saint like voice with his saint like grin. He took my bag for me and led the way to the top of the Slytherin table.

The tables were, as per usual, packed with meat, vegetables, drinks, sauces everything. I'm not keep on Hogwarts but I can't deny that it makes a great effort with all that it does. Tom and I look around for a seat; because we were talking the tables are already pretty full. We spot a free corner right at the other end of the table and start to make our way down the hall.

By the time we got to our seats the rest of the table was full. You could see groups of first years with their perfectly in shape uniforms, Prefects, trying to take control of everyone, Groups of girls gossiping and Masses of boys joking about and pranking each other. Everyone looks so happy. I hate that.

"As much as i hate them the elves have done a pretty good job tonight" Tom says passing me some chicken, i take it without question and fill up my plate with various vegetables and mash potato.

As soon as our plates our full we immerse ourselves in to chatter. We talk about everything and realise how much we have in common. We both go un noticed, we both like the same subjects, we both hate the same people. There was no effort in to the conversation it just flowed, no awkward silences, no need for a topic we just clicked.

Before we knew it our plates were cleared and shortly after that the tables were the full of pudding. Everything was there. Chocolates, cake, sweets, jelly and custard. That is the one thing I never have in Hogwarts. I never bother coming out of my dorm after I have finished my dinner so I never have pudding and well, I am going to enjoy it tonight

After pudding the great hall slowly becomes quieter and less busy but Tom and I were still talking. I found myself mesmerised by him. His voice is so sweet and soft, I'm not really sure what he is talking about, in fact I'm not really sure what we have been talking about since we sat down, i have just been hypnotised by him. Everything about him is so perfect, his skin, his teeth, his hair, his smile. It is almost as if he wasn't real, but i know he is. I know he is because no such imagination could create such a wonderful being.

"Move along now, time for you to be getting to your dorms" said Professor Dumbledore. I never really liked him he had a grey beard and long-ish grey hair and he always picked on me. I dislike him even more because everyone seems to think that the sun shines out of his arse.

Tom and I reluctantly got up and started walking to the Slyrtherin common room. It is normally about a 5 minute walk from the great hall to the dungeons but when I was with Tom I just had no concept of time and it felt like we arrived at the common room as soon as we left our table.

"I had a really nice time with you tonight" He turned to me and did his little crooked smile and I had to stop myself from fainting, I just felt like all the air had been taken out of my lungs by his beauty.

"Yeah I had a great time to, thanks Tom" I replied with what little oxygen was in me

"Goodnight Bella"

"Bellatrix, it's Bellatrix" I replied as if it was a reflex and almost viciously

He stopped mid steep and turned around

"Sorry, I know you name is Bellatrix I just, didn't know if you liked Be-"

"No I don't like Bella" I sneered back at him. Why was I doing this? It wasn't his fault, he doesn't know.

"I'm… I'm sorry. It won't happen again"

"Thank you, I just.. I get called Bella by my sister and I hate her, I don't; want to be happy with you and then reminded of that fowl woman when I am with you" I burst out slumping in to the big velvet chairs behind me and holding my head in my hands.

"Ah Narcissa" he replied. "I wondered if that would come up"

My head shot up "excuse me?" I sneered

"I know a lot more about you than you think, so if I were you I'd be careful with what you say. Goodnight… Bella"

Then he was gone. Just like that. What did he mean he knows more about me than I think? He doesn't know anything about me, I have never even met him before today. Thoughts and questions spun around in my head. I wasn't sure whether I was angry or sad, I didn't know whether I wanted to hit him or to sit and cry. I sat in the chair until early morning, sleep evading me with all the thoughts about Tom running round in my head. I repeated everything he said to me and tried to make sense of it all but I couldn't. All I know is that I'm not finished with him and I have a funny feeling he isn't finished with me either


	2. The Forbidden Forest

I woke the next day at 6am, with only 3 hours of sleep I felt like a zombie. No one else was awake so I crept out of the dorm and went to go for a walk around the field. Even though it was winter and bitterly cold walks around the field always helped me. They go my anger out, allowed me to cry and I could sort out all my problems there. I wasn't in the way and no one could see me. It was perfect.

I slipped on my coat and crept down stairs, just as I was about to creep out of the portrait hole I hear him.

"Going somewhere?" He said. His voice still knocked the air out of my lungs; I turned around to find him sat in the velvet chair I was sat in last night. Still as beautiful as ever. I didn't know what to say because I didn't know how I felt. Do I run, do I question him, do I forget all about it. I didn't want to look like I was weak from last night so I straightened myself up and replied

"Yeah, I was just about to go for a walk around the fields. If you want to join" Want to join? Why did I ask him if he wanted to join? I don't want him to join me. Please say no I thought please say no.

"That would be lovely" he smirked and got out of the chair.

What have I got myself in to? I don't have a good feeling about this, especially not after last night. Unless I leave when he goes to get his coat. At that moment, as if reading my thoughts he picked up his coat from the chair next to him,

"Oh good job you already had it down here" I tried to make it sound light hearted but it obviously didn't come out that way.

"Yeah I had a hunch I would be needing it" he grinned and opened up the door for me to climb out first.

He was waiting for me. I know he was. Why else would he be in the common room with his coat at 6am? I walked along the corridor trying to think of something to say. This is different form last night. It is awkward now; I don't know what to say I don't know how I feel. I know that I should be scared but I have a feeling that I might be falling for him. Everything about him entices me and I know that we have so much in common. I thought he might have liked me to but I just don't know what happened last night. I can't explain n what he meant and one this I know for sure is that I am not going to find out what he meant.

"Look I am sorry about last night; you see I go so unnoticed by people that it is easy for me to find out stuff. I knew that you didn't get on with Narcissa and I just wondered how long it would be before you brought her up." I stopped in his tracks and looked right in to my eyes as he said this. I didn't know how to reply it is still creepy and he still annoyed me

"That's fine, I guess it is a Hogwarts fact that we don't get on, it just sort of startled me" I replied fiddling with the ends of my hair and looking at my shoes

"I knew you were going to go for a walk. I see you doing it sometimes, I normally go a bit earlier and you're always behind me"

Again this shocked me. I have never seen him going for a walk, I see Hagrid and sometimes teachers but I have never seen a student.

"Really" I said in almost disbelief "I've never seen you doing it" I looked at him to see if he was lying

"I like to keep well hidden, I like that people don't notice me" he said walking off again.

We walked to the field in silence but it wasn't uncomfortable it was nice to see that someone was there. It was nice to not be the only weirdo in the school

"Bellatrix" He said pausing slightly "I know we have only spoken twice but I feel as though I know everything about you and we have a lot in common" He turned to me and smiled almost maliciously

"Well yeah I was thinking that to" I replied unsure of where this was going

"Then I need your help" he stopped smiling, His eyes got darker and he was suddenly very serious

"Urm okay" I replied. This went against every single instinct in my body. My body was telling me to run, to get away from him and stay away from him. But I couldn't, he was my only friend, the only person I had connected with, I couldn't throw that away because I was scared. Bellatrix Lestrange does not run away from things because she is scared.

"Then come with me" He grabbed my hand and started running

"Tom, Tom where are we going" I panted as I was trying to keep up with him

He didn't reply he just kept running, I looked up and it hit me, we were going to the forbidden forest. We were getting closer and closer to it and I knew that was the only place we could be going. The thought of it sent a chill down my spine. Not because I thought we would get in to trouble or because I was scared of what was in there, but because I knew whatever it was he wanted help with wasn't going to be pretty.

He slowed down as we entered the forest, within a minute it was already dark. The trees towered over us showing no sign of escape. You could hear rustling in the bushes and below your feet but I thought it was better not to look to see what it was. We had slowed down to a walk now but we were going deeper and deeper in to the forest, it got darker with every step. The path that we were on had now disappeared and we were climbing over logs, dodging trees, jumping over dead animals. I could tell that this wasn't the first time Tom had gone to this location.

Then I saw it, a huge cave covered in leaves and twines of trees. Plants had grown up and around it. We walked in and there was what looked like a burnt out fire in the middle, a blanket and some books in the corner.

"You come here a lot don't you." I said, it was obvious he spent as much time as he could here

"I discovered it the first year of being here and come here almost every day. I normally sleep here too" He replied laying out the blanket and trying to light the fire.

I looked around and as cosy as this looks I couldn't imagine sleeping here. It felt strange being here in the morning.

"Sit down" he said, it wasn't an option it was an order. I walked over to the blanket and sat cross legged next to the fire. He came and sat right in front of me, his knees touching mine, he grabbed my hands and looked me in the eye,

"I have great plans Bellatrix, great plans, but I will need acquaintances, I will need help. You, you are that help" He took out his wand "I want you to make an unbreakable vow to help me, to stand by my side no matter what. I need you to vow to help me"

I could see no way out of this, i would help him without a question but the fact that he is making me do an unbreakable vow makes me think that there is more to this, that I will become his assistant rather than his friend. Even if I didn't want to, which for some reason I do, I couldn't leave, I don't know how to get back to the castle and he knows that, that is why he brought me here.

"I will help you, no matter what I promise" I replied

"Then will you make the vow?" he replied

"yes" I nodded and took a deep breath

He took my hand and held it tightly in his, put his wand in his free hand and said

"Do you Bellatrix Black vow to help me, Tom Riddle no matter what the circumstance"

"I do" I whispered

"Do you Bellatrix Black" he repeated "Vow to stand by my side no matter what my choices are"

"I do" I whispered

"and do you Bellatrix Black promise to follow my rules, my demands and my orders no matter what they are" he snarled

"I do" I whispered


	3. Go eat in your dorm, looser

He put his wand down and smiled.

"Thank you Bellatrix" he said looking deeply in to my eyes, I could see the thoughts going round in his head

He knows that he has me now; I will forever be wrapped around his little finger. No matter what he does, where he is or if I hate it, I have to do it too, I have to help him. He knows that I am his bitch and he loves it.

"Anytime" I say trying to smile "so what now" I look to the opening in the cave hoping that he will say he wants to go back

"Well it is 7am now" he said looking at his watch "so we should head back in about half an hour, before people notice we are gone"

That roughly means that he has more planned for here. Is this going to be my first task? Is he going to want me to perform some validation test to prove that he has me in his grasp? I look at him and realise that I am falling for him. Well, I have fallen for him. I can help but admire his beauty and I know that if I didn't feel this way about him I wouldn't have agreed to the vow. I start playing with my hair again, trying to pick at all the split ends. I hate my hair, its big, jet black and wildly curly. Nothing I can do makes it any nice so I normally just stick it up and forget about It

Just then Tom stops my hand and places in my lap, he looks and me brushes a strand of hair behind my ear and says

"You look beautiful today Bellatrix"

I can't help but blush. I don't think anyone, including my family, has ever called my beautiful. I bow my head in fear of going red and giggle slightly

"Thank you" I say. I can feel all the blood go to my cheeks and I cover my face with my hair

He looks at me, brushes my hair away and tilts my head up. He is closer than before and this startles me a bit but I don't move. He slowly wraps one arm around my back and pulls me close to him. Before I know it his lips are on mine, I was unsure of what to do, it was so unexpected so I put my arm around him and try to act as if I know what I am doing.

He pulls me tighter so I'm right up against him and slowly slips his tongue in to my mouth. All I can taste is mint, he had obviously planned this. I wasn't going to stop him, my insides were dancing with joy and it felt as though I would never be sad again. I know I had no experience but he was an amazing kisser and I just didn't want this moment to end. I can feel him getting harder and deeper in to the kiss he starts to push me backwards and before I know it he is led on top of me.

Just then he pulls away, chuckles slightly, kisses me lightly on the lips and stands up

"We should get back to the castle" he says grinning at me

I was still in shock over what just happened that I started to believe I made it up. He held out his hand, helped me get to my feet and began to walk out the cave. As we were walking back through the forest he kept his distance, like on the journey here, we barely spoke and it certainly wasn't like the talk we had in the Great Hall last night.

I was so confused. I didn't know what I expected but it certainly wasn't this. I thought that it would be like we were going out, holding hands, closeness and best friends. I was obviously wrong and he didn't seem to care at all.

We got to the field and my eyes began to hurt adjusting to the brightness that was blocked out in the forest. I jogged a little so that I was by his side

"So what was that all about" I blurted out

"I don't know" he shrugged "It just felt right, felt like it fitted the time"

I went to hold his hand but he moved it, stopped walking and turned me around. He grabbed me by the shoulders and held me tightly

"Look" He said "I know you are a girl and that kisses mean some sort of unsaid binding to you but that isn't what it was okay? I don't want or need a girlfriend, people will get suspicious and rumours will start going around and that is the last thing I want"

His grip was getting harder and it was starting to hurt. I had to bite the insides of my cheeks to stop me from crying.

"Things go as I say okay? No matter what you feel or what you want you abide by my rules. You've made the vow so you can't back out now"

His face was right up against mine and his fingers digging in to my shoulders

"You're mine" he spat "You're mine to control, you're mine to kiss, and you're mine to hurt. Anything I want and you have to give it to me. You understand?"

A nod was all that I could manage to get out. If I spoke I know I would breakdown and cry. He lets go of my shoulders and begins to walk away.

"Don't bother sitting with me today. Go back to your dorm and eat like that pathetic looser you are" he shouted behind him.

I couldn't move I just stood there staring at nothing. What on earth had just happened? How could he turn so vicious so quickly? I looked at my watch, it was 7:35 so I ran to the great hall, almost no-one was in there, it was a Saturday so most people didn't get up until 9 or 10, but the breakfast was already on the tables I grabbed what I wanted and sprinted to my dorm. I sat on my bed and cried.

The other 3 girls in my dorm, Clarissa, Betty and Lucy, all do early morning sports on a Saturday so I had the dorm to myself. I ripped off my coat and top and looked at my shoulders on each on there were 4 big dents where his fingernails had dug in to me and one of them had started to bleed. I grabbed a tissue and held it on my shoulder, when it stopped bleeding I put my pyjamas on and the tears started all over again, I couldn't help it. Between my lack of sleep, confusion, fear and sore shoulders the tears came pouring out. I forced myself to eat my breakfast and led on my bed. What have I got myself in to?

I must have fallen asleep for the rest of the day because I wake up and hear Clarissa and Lucy talking about going to dinner. I cannot stand either of them. Both of them gossip about the whole school, constantly seek attention and think they are better than everyone else. Clarissa has long blonde hair and covers herself in make-up Lucy has shorter brown hair and only wear a bit of make-up but they are still complete sluts, getting with every guy they can.

"Is she asleep" Says Clarissa

I open my eyes slightly to see what is going on, Lucy walks over to me and pokes me with her wand, I don't move because I don't want to have to deal with either of them.

"Yeah looks like it" She confirms

"Well, did you hear about her and Tom? Apparently they went for a walk together for about three hours and ended up having sex in the forest" She laughs

WHAT? I think to myself. I want to get up and scream about how wrong she is. This is why I hate school why I hate how someone going for a walk for an hour escalates in to such a stupid and out of proportion joke. I decide to keep pretending that I am asleep and see where this conversation goes.

"What Tom Riddle? The weirdo who always freaks everyone out?" she cackles

"Yep" Clarissa confirms "apparently they have been getting close for the past few months"

Past few months I think to myself. I spoke to him for the first time yesterday. I don't bother getting up or trying to correct her because I know that the more I deny it the more it will look like the truth. Tom hurt me when I went to hold his hand; he made it very clear he didn't want a close connection with me, especially not in this way. I don't know what the other rumours are or if he has heard them. All I know is that it is going to mean bad things for me.


	4. Haywoods Vision

It has been a while since I have seen Tom. 6 weeks to be precise. I am going crazy because I miss him so much. How is that even possible though? How can I feel so much for someone who I have only met twice? I think about him all the time but at the same time I don't want to see him, because I am scared. After what happened in the field I am scared that he has heard the rumours and is planning something horrible for me. I mean I am still his after all, I still have to do as he tells me, I still have to stand by his side in every decision he makes.

I look at my time table, double Potions, Transfiguration, Divination and Quidditch, Great. My worst subjects all put in to one day. Quidditch and Potions make it worse because being a Slytherin, I should be good at Potions and with Narcissa being known for Quidditch, the teachers expect me to be as good, but I am not. Nowhere near as good. At least it is a Friday, which is the only good thing about today. With a huge sigh I get out of bed, reluctantly put on my uniform and make my way to the Great Hall.

It is still relatively early for people to be up on a school day so there are only a handful of people in the hall. I walk up and down the Slytherin table to decide what I want. Eventually, I choose Porridge, I cover it in sugar and pick up and glass of milk. I was just about to make my way back to the dorm when I hear him.

"Sit down" He said. The words sent a shiver down my spine, without a seconds thought I put down my breakfast and sit down at the table. He sits next to me and started picking out what he wanted for breakfast. I sat silently staring at my porridge, waiting for him to say something.

"Are you going to Hogsmeade tomorrow?" He asked

Hogsmeade is the wizarding village near Hogwarts. When you are in the 3rd year or above you are allowed, as long as you have parents' permission, to visit there. Hogsmeade has everything. Zonkos Joke Shop, Honeydukes the sweet shop, being the only wizarding village, it is like heaven. Being a 5th year I had already gone quite a few times and I wasn't planning on going tomorrow.

"I wasn't planning on it" I replied quietly.

"Well you are now" He smiled "Meet me near the shrieking shack at 2pm okay?" Then he grabbed his food and walked off. Just like that. No other conversation, no telling what we were doing. I really am his to play around.

Why would he want to meet near the shrieking shack? It is thought to be haunted but I don't really believe that sort of stuff, even so you can't get that close to it and you certainly can't get in to it. Maybe it is because not many people go near there. I end up eating my breakfast at the Slytherin table and make my way to potions trying to put Saturday out of my mind.

After a disastrous Potions lesson and a Transfiguration lesson that almost sent me to sleep I was just about to think that this day couldn't get any worse and as if she knew I was having an awful day Narcissa stopped me in the hall

"Bella, darling" She said in her posh, I'm-so-much-better-than-you voice "Mother wants us home this weekend"

"What? Why" I replied urgently, I can't go home I have to meet Tom in Hogsmeade

"I don't know, all she told me was that she has a big surprise and we have to go home this weekend"

"But I have plans this weekend"

She started laughing

"Oh don't be silly Bella, nothing you do can be that important" She said as she started walking away

I can't go home, I have to meet Tom, and if I don't then I could lose my life. I made the vow I promised, I have to go. But what about my parents? I need to know the news, what if it is something important? I decide to try and find Tom and tell him my dilemma. I have no idea what lessons he took so I carry on to the top if the astronomy tower for Divination and think that I will meet him at dinner.

I get in to Divination a little bit late and the class has already started. Professor Haywood obviously didn't notice me coming in as she just carried on with what she was talking about

"Today we are looking in to the future using palm reading" She said making a dramatic gesture with her hands.

I have always had a weird sort of connection with her. She is very young, especially for a teacher and seems like a bit of an outcast. I have never seen her leave this classroom and I know she never eats in the Great Hall like all the other teachers. A lot of the students make fun of her because she has a sort of spaced out look and she talks like she is on drugs but I suppose that is just because of what she does. As much as I find Divination pointless and boring, I can at least have a bit of comfort form her.

"Find a partner and turn to page 167 of your books" She says sweeping across the room making sure that everyone is doing the right thing "I want you to gently hold your partners hand and look at the lines closely, analyse them to find out what their near future holds"

I look around the classroom and everyone has partners, everyone except for me. I don't bother trying to join another pair so I just read the textbook and make a few notes.

"Do you not have a partner my dear?" Professor Haywood whispers to me

"No, but it doesn't matter I can still do the work" I reply, hoping she doesn't put with anyone

"Well you can do it with me" She says brightly. She grabs my hand and starts to trace the lines on my palm with her finger. Her eyes widen and a look of shock comes across her face. "My dear, this weekend awaits a horrible conclusion for you. You have to choose between what you love and what you hate, but it could end badly"

"WHAT" I shout back at her. I try to pull my hand away from her but she holds it in place

"Yes my dear" she continues "The weekend has nothing but bad luck for you, you will get hurt, you will get hurt and you could possibly die" she screams, she looks genuinely terrified by what she has read and I am in shock. I can't move. I stare at her blankly, aware that the whole class is now looking at us

"No, no you must be wrong" I yank my hand away from her looking at my palm and back at the textbook but I can't make sense of anything right now.

"My dear" she whispers "It has been a pleasure teaching you" She has tears in her eyes and she makes a gesture to hug me but I pull away.

"What? No I don't believe you. I don't believe this, it's a bunch of bullshit" I grab my bag and coat and storm out of the classroom.

Was she really saying her goodbyes to me? It is a well-known fact that every few weeks Professor Haywood makes a forecast for death or for someone getting it hurt and it almost never happens. But I have never seen her get like that. In all the times she has told someone they will die she has said it in such a matter of factly tone that it almost sounded normal. I have never seen her look so shocked and so emotional. Maybe this time she believes that she is right. Maybe this weekend awaits nothing but horror for me.


End file.
